Selfcare Tips

Why You Should 🛑Stop🛑 Concerning Yourself with Self-Esteem

Give me ’til the end of of this 5 minute read to get you thinking differently about self-esteem.

Let’s start by looking at the definition of esteem:

Esteem ➡️ v. regard highly or favourably; regard with respect or admiration

Now hold that thought. And let’s look at the history of the word esteem:

“Esteem” comes from the Latin word aestimare and the Old French word estimer, meaning to estimate value or appraise (1) (2).

Now take the meaning of “esteem” and apply it to the way YOU perceive YOURSELF. Do you admire yourself? What sort of value you do you place on yourself?

High self-esteem; esteemed King.

If you value yourself highly, why is that? Do you have certain qualities that rank higher on the “esteem scale” than, say, your good friend?

And how about your friend … would you esteem the qualities of your good friend in the same way they would esteem them?

If you’re seriously thinking about those questions but not sure how to answer them, we are starting to get somewhere.

Do you esteem yourself?

Think about the intrinsic value of a human being (and yes, I said “intrinsic”). The intrinsic value of a human being (A.K.A. YOUR VALUE) is infinite.

So if the value of your being – your existence – is infinite, then why bother dissecting your being into qualities that you do or do not esteem?

When you describe the way you think about yourself, instead of saying “high or low self-esteem”, just use the term “self-worth”. Accepting the existence of your human-ness is preferable to a self-diagnosis of high or low self-esteem.

“But Ella, you’re over-thinking this. I am SUPPOSED to have high self-esteem! Having high self-esteem is good for my mental health!”

I SOOOO disagree.

First, I’m not over-thinking, I just like to use words properly. If words didn’t matter, I would start calling an apple and orange, and a house a car.

On that note, if you believe your humanness has value or purpose, then why use the word “esteem”? If you aren’t appraising yourself based on anything but your existence, then there’s nothing to appraise. You simply have worth as a human because you exist. Which leads me to my second point …

Neither appraising your qualities and placing yourself higher along the esteem scale NOR regarding yourself with esteem for no apparent reason are beneficial to your mental health. As I explained earlier, you have nothing to appraise – there is no scale of intrinsic human worth. And to the second point, your humanness alone leaves you capable of personal development and therefore capable of improving your life. You should not esteem yourself for no reason, but instead give your intrinsic worth meaning by improving your extrinsic qualities. It is always better to try to improving extrinsic qualities instead of lowering the value you place on yourself because of them.

Stacks of money represents not lowering your instrinsic value based on your extrinsic qualities

But most importantly, recognizing your worth does not mean you get life a participation trophy. Thinking you’re the bomb.com for no apparent reason is called narcissism. So instead, give yourself a reason to be confident in life. As a human you are COMPLETELY CAPABLE of giving yourself a good life by working hard for something that gives your worth, meaning. Take advantage of your humanness and give yourself a reason to keep living.

For example, both the alcoholic and brain surgeon have infinite worth. But only the brain surgeon has taken advantage of his humanness to give his worth, meaning.

And as you were probably expecting, here’s a nifty analogy to help you understand:

Let’s say you’re a soccer player. Your team never practices so they come in last place in the league. Your team should not get a trophy for simply participating. BUT just because you came in last place, that DOES NOT mean you or anyone on your team are no longer soccer players.

What your team decides to do is take advantage of their “soccer player-ness” and hold weekly practices. The more your team practices, the more your team gives itself a reason to keep competing.

So no matter your race, ability or disability, career, social economic status, etc., your existence as a human being has infinite worth.

You have self-worth because you are human.

Next time you say you have high or low self-esteem, remember that esteem doesn’t actually matter; what matters is the fact you exist and you can make your existence more meaningful everyday, and that alone is enough ❤

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*Disclaimer: I am not a medical or mental health professional. Any information and content on my website is not a substitute for professional, medical, or legal advice.

New Beginnings

This is my “Why”

Are you feeling discouraged today? Well secret’s out – I am! And I was a little discouraged yesterday, and last week, and even last month…and maybe you were too.

For me, feeling discouraged definitely comes and goes. Especially since I am trying to do something a little out of the ordinary: I don’t have a 9-5 job, I am trying to get a blog off the ground, and I am trying to make motivational speaking my full time job. From the outside looking in, I’d say those goals are a bit daunting (and then from the inside looking in, I’d say “YUP. THEY ARE DAUNTING”).

I’ve seen people and blog posts and vloggers go viral in the span of a few days — it sucks to compare yourself to those people. There are days when I think it might not be worth the effort…And that’s when I have to remember why I started.

I am doing this (literally ALL of this) for YOU.

Not for me, not for 100,000 people, and not for $100,000. Every blog post, instagram photo, tweet, and facebook post is a message directly from me to YOU. In the past year or so, I’ve gained an amazing and wonderful outlook on life. And all I want is to help YOU find that exact same outlook. The love I have for existence is so real, so I made it my mission to help YOU feel that same love.

Sometimes you have to give without expecting anything in return. Sometimes you have to turn the other cheek to accept negative and unnecessary comments. Sometimes the things we are called to do in life are hard as f***, even if that just means living. But those are all the reasons we have to get things done. Once you start living for the good in life, it gives you momentum to keep going.

At the end of every day I don’t remember the negativety. I remember the friend, or family member, or person I barely know who told me my content inspires them. And right now that is only a handful of people. Maybe their will be more one day. Regardless of the number, I hope my message helps you love life, love living, and love existence.

That, my friends, is my “why”.

And as always, Happy Monday 🙂

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Selfcare Tips

My Top 10 (and slightly unconventional) Ways to Reduce Stress in Under 10 Minutes

Stress: the ultimate time waster, relationship breaker, anger fuel-er, burn-out creator, self-esteem robber, worthiness thief…the list could go on and on.

Yet, no matter how hard we try, we all experience stress.

Well it turns out, it is supposed to be that way. Because we are human. Because we have cortisol. Because we have brains that think…and over think. And pressure and expectations and comparisons.

We all have stress.

So the question is not, “how do I get rid of stress?”, but rather, “how do i manage stress?“.

About 11 months ago I asked myself that question for the first time, then I challenged myself to answer it. And 11 months later it turns out I still get stressed, BUT, now I have the ability to go from stressed-out to chilled-out in a matter of minutes.

So here is a list of my top 10 (and somewhat unconventional) ways to reduce stress:

1. Square breathing / military breathing. This is more than just “trying to breathe”. This strategy seriously calms you down and distracts you in a matter of 16 seconds.

How to: breathe in slowly for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, repeat if necessary. The counting takes your focus away from the stress and the slow breathing slows down your heart rate. Congrats! You now are calm enough to think logically and assess the situation.

2. Saying/singing random words. I am not asking you to sing the opera or your favourite song. “La ya hmmm naaaa” in a monotone voice will do. I am probably the queen of doing this. When I pair it with rocking back-and-forth on my legs or gently swaying, it relaxes me enough so i can begin thinking logically.

3. Repeating words like “yup, ya, ok, uh-huh, ok, f***ing right Ella!, good.” ..ok maybe your name isn’t Ella. But repeating words with positive / good associations will keep your brain thinking positively instead negatively.

4. Sit. Just sit. On the floor, on the couch, on a chair. And then just look. Let your brain rest while your eyes take the reigns and your body doesn’t exert itself. Don’t read, don’t go on your phone, don’t turn on the tv. Let your eyes really see what’s in front of you. Notice the texture of what you see. And the colour. Are you lucky to have what you’re looking at? Was it a gift? Are you thankful? This is called mindfulness. The more you become mindful of your surroundings, your gratefulness level will increase and your stress level will decrease.

5. Drink a calming tea. Not a glass of wine, not a rum and coke, not a caffinated beverage, and don’t eat pizza! I like to have chammomile tea or lavendar tea. You can even buy certain tea blends designed to make you calm. I like a magnesium tea called Calm as well as a brand called Traditional Medicinals – Cup of Calm.

6. Be proactive and under-schedule yourself. Odds, are your “minimal schedule” is more of a realistic schedule. Even though the amount of things you do daily might not change, being able to check off all the items on your list each day will make you feel more productive. You’ll also put less pressure on yourself to deliver quantity. And you’ll therefore have more time to focus on quality!

7. Talk to yourself. Don’t play the avoidance game. The last thing you want to do is distract yourself from stress for a week then have it creep up on you again. Pushing your stress deep down inside can turn into bad anxiety and even panic attacks. What I suggest is having a full-on and preferably outloud conversation with yourself. Ask yourself why you are stressed. Can you change the situation? If not, then remember “it isn’t worth the worry.” Life is 20% what happens to you and 80% what you make it.

8. Don’t do it. But only long enough to reassess your situation. I can’t stress the previous sentence enough. Taking a day or a month (or 8 months in the case of my masters) to step back and decide if you can approach your situation in a better way could be the best thing for you. There is always a way.

9. Afformations. Lately I find myself doing this more and more. This concept was developed by Noah St. John (check out his book, Afformations, for all the details). Doing this involves asking yourself questions. That’s right, they aren’t af-firm-ations where you say things to yourself like “I am successful” on a daily basis – when you simply say things like that, you force yourself to believe what you actually think is a lie. What you should do instead is ask yourself, “Why am I successful?” Asking the question on a daily basis forces your brain to start thinking of an answer. Soon you’ll find those answers and then you’ll adjust your behaviour. I can’t tell you how much this one helps – kudos to you Mr. St. John.

10. Listen to relaxing music. If you’re like me, you like to listen to music that matches your mood. And if you’re really like me, you’ve probably realized that sad music makes you more sad, angry music makes you more angry etc etc. Well good news, relaxing music makes you more relaxed! So next time you get stressed, all you have to do is head to the internet and search “relaxing music”. One of my absolute favourites is Peder B. Helland whose YouTube Channel is called Soothing Relaxation. I swear he has playlists for every type of “relaxation mood”.

You’ll notice there is nothing on this list like hiking, yoga, or spa day. That is because those types of things and other traditional forms of de-stressers are secondary in the order of ‘Stress Maintenance Operations’. They are ideal for the long term but not ideal as immediate responses. (Note: expect an upcoming blog post on these secondary responses).

Stress happens fast, so we need to equip ourselves with the most efficient reactionary tools. And that is why i think the list in this post is so important.

So next time you feel stressed, try one of these techniques. The more you practise the easier it will get.

I wish you a stress-free and Happy Monday 🙂

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Selfcare Tips

Will this be the Year of You?

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Question for you: Is the upcoming year going to be the best year of your life yet?

Answer: “Well Ella, let me go grab my crystal ball. Oh wait…I don’t have one!”

Ok, maybe you’re not as sarcastic as I am. But do you really know the answer to that question? You don’t? No worries, I did the heavy work for you and wrote this blog post to give you the answer.

And the answer is……….HELL FREAKING YEAHHH. Ok… the answer is just “yes” (sorry, I can be a little intense at times). Let me try to channel my energy into the rest of this post …

This is going to be the best year of your life yet.

I don’t care how old you are, the next 365 days of your life starting now are going to be the best days compared to all the other days that came before. Then after the year ends, there will be another 365 days that will be EVEN BETTER.

Why, you ask?

Because you are going to challenge yourself. You are going to do things you’ve never done because they are healthy and positive and bring you joy. You are going to do things you’ve always wanted to do. And you might not succeed at first, but you have 365 days to learn how to kick a**!

I have yet to hear an example of someone doing something they find challenging and not growing as a person. Fail or succeed, trying to make each year the best year of your life is the least you can do. You don’t deserve anything less.

As you read this, I KNOW you’re thinking of a thing you’ve always wanted to do. And I know you’re starting to think about doing that thing for the first time. AND… I know you just read that sentence and said, “Shit, this girl is good. Maybe she really does have a crystal ball.” So, pick that thing, get ‘er done, and make this the best year of your life yet. Make this the year of you!!!

HEY P.S.! I want to hear about how you are making this the #YearofYou! Post on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter and let me know by using the hashtag #YearofYou! Links to my social accounts are below!

Happy Monday!

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New Beginnings, Selfcare Tips

Passion >>> Complacency

!PSA! Take this 3-question quiz that will guarantee 1 of 4 possibilities: (1) you have an a-ha moment, (2) you give yourself a pat on the back (3) you have an oh-s***-what-am-I-doing moment, or (4) some combination of 1 & 3!

Question 1- How old are you?

Question 2a – What are you doing in this chapter of your life?

Question 2b – Is what you’re doing considered “normal” for your age?

……If yes, say “yes it is but who really cares if my life is normal” and move to question 3.

……If no, say “no it is not but who really cares if my life is normal” and move to question 3.

Question 3-Is what you’re doing making you truly happy?

…..If yes, then please accept this emoji high-five *insert emoji high-five*.

…..If no, why are you doing it? (And accept an emoji high-five anyways because you’re probably the bomb).

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Two weeks ago I posted a blog about “investing in yourself” and in it I mentioned I wanted to draw out that belief. I wanted to hold on to that belief with both my hands!

Recently I decided to take that belief and crank it up a notch — I wanted to live and breathe that belief so I could hold onto it with my WHOLE HEART!

So how did I do this?…I stopped my normal life, decided to follow my passion, and started this blog. And now I am dedicating the rest of my life to helping others realize they should follow their passions too. Super exciting, right!?!?! …Wrong…(ish).

It’s actually a bit nerve-wracking. And sometimes I feel like the picture below:

It is definitely not easy to take a huge risk without being certain you’ll be re-paid. So why take such a risk???…PASSION! Seriously, that’s it. Sure I have the support of my immediate family and closest friends, but even if I didn’t, I swear passion alone would keep me going.

If you are complacent with your life and that is the way you want to keep it, that is totally fine – no hard feelings. But I am telling you with 100% certainty that pushing past complacency to complete fulfillment will bring you joy like nothing else will.

Whether it’s starting a blog, writing a book, or spending more time with family, follow your passion and you WILL find true happiness. Whether you’re 14, or 20, or 56 years old, do what brings you fulfillment and I promise you WILL find a passion for life itself 🙂

Selfcare Tips

Fifty Shades of Monday

This is a follow-up to my last blog where I talked about Mondays being my favourite day of the week.

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One of my friends asked if I could recommend more things for people to do on Mondays. So instead of listing off a few items, I decided to write a full list of 50 Things to do on a Monday. If you don’t feel like reading the whole list, at least read #49-50.

Enjoy!

1. Yoga – My favourite is Yoga with Adriene on YouTube. She has a whole series for beginners, and a class for pretty much anything else you can think of.

2. Bullet journalling (or using an organizer/agenda) – When Monday comes along, I open my journal and flip to a beautiful new blank week. Then I get to create my schedule the way I want!

3. High Intensity Interval Training – My ABSOLUTE favourite trainer for these types of workouts is Melissa Bender. Check her out on YouTube as well as her blog at BenderFitness. Her workouts are ALL done at home so you don’t need a gym membership or any fancy equipment.

4. Take-up a recreational sport – check out what your local rec centre has to offer. You can usually find sports year round at a reasonable price. And don’t be afraid to try a sport you never played before!

5. Read – whether it’s a physical book or an audio book, you can’t go wrong here. I recently discovered that YouTube has lots of audiobooks for free.

6. Listen to motivational content online – whether you drive or walk to work, you can definitely hype yourself up by listening to motivational content duting your commute. One of my favourites is Patrick Bet-David. His YouTube channel is called Valuetainement!

7. Stretch – Before getting ready for work or eating breakfast, try alotting 7-10 minutes to do a full body stretch. It will get your blood flowing and your muscles feeling ready to face the day.

8. Colour – Yup, you heard me, break out those crayola crayons for this activity. You can purchase “adult” colouring books on Amazon and at Chapters.

9. Read the news – I honestly try to avoid this one because every news report seems biased, BUT if you have time to check out a few news sources, maybe you’ll find at least one thing to research and gain more knowledge on the subject.

10. Eat your favourite breakfast – What better way to start a week than to eat your favourite food? If you don’t have time to do this in the morning, try to get it ready the night before (even if that means pre-scrammbling eggs and putting them in a jar to cook in the morning).

11. Wake-up your brain by playing a game like sudoku or crossword (you can download these games onto your phone from the app store).

12. Walk to work – change up your regular routine and walk to work if you can! Can’t walk? Take a little stroll on your lunch break.

13. Make a big a** salad for dinner. Get in the vitamins and nutrients your body craves on the first day of the week.

14. Eat a smoothie for breakfast – again, get in those vitamins!

15. Try a fast – Hold out on food until dinner time, and drink lots of water. You may be surprised how refreshed you feel!

16. Watch a documentary – instead of your normal Monday night sitcom.

17. Do a puzzle – another great way to stimulate your brain!

18. Make your favourite dinner.

19. Go to a cafe with a book or your laptop.

20. Take a bath

21. Make a dish with an ingredient you’ve never used before.

25. Do your grocery shopping – seriously! I prefer getting my groceries on weekday evenings because it is so quiet at the store. Plus most stores put out fresh produce on Mondays so you get first dibs.

26. Paint night. Painting is a cheap hobby to get into. You can buy everything you need at the dollarstore, and follow a Bob Ross YouTube video at home! Alternatively, you can buy a ticket for Paint Nite (this is also a great date idea).

27. Go to a board game cafe, or just grab some friends and play at your house!

28. Sign-up for a Masterclass or for Skillshare to learn a new skill. Both sites have every class imaginable so you’ll have no shortage of options.

29. Make some buttery popcorn and watch an old movie.

30. Make something from scratch! There are tons of sites and books that teach you how to make things like soap, deodorant, household cleaners, bathbombs etc!

31. Knit or crochet – Try making a dishcloth. You can use the most basic stitch and it can be done in 1 night!

32. Start a gratitude journal. Find an empty journal and each day write down what you are grateful for.

33. Call a friend and chat with them.

34. Call your mom or dad! I guarentee you’ll make their day.

35. Go see a movie at the cinema. Pro tip: see if you can find a cinema that plays older films. Or find a cinema that serves drinks while you watch the movie in a comfy armchair.

36. Meditate – Not sure how? Your local buddhist temple may have classes, or download the app Headspace to your phone.

37. Compliment somebody – You have no idea how good this makes you feel until you try it. And you will likely make the other person’s day.

38. Wash your bed sheets – Laundry isn’t fun, I know. But how can you not love jumping into freshly washed bed sheets on the the first day of the week?

39. Sit on your balcony or look out the window and admire the night sky. Realize how amazing it is that you are a living, INTELLIGENT organism in the big wide universe you’re looking at.

40. As soon as you wake up, tell someone you love them and that you hope they have a great day. Do this because you genuinely mean it. And tell them what a great friend/partner they are to you.

41. Join a club. Not sure where to find one? I highly recommend the app, “Meet-up” to see what’s close to you.

42. Join an art class. Your local community centre will probably offer inexpensive classes.

43. Join a professional club like Toastmasters.

44. Check-out EventBrite for any and all events in your area! I loveeee this app!

45. Love coffee? How about trying a tea! Switching up your normal habits is a great way to stay motivated and stimulated.

46. Create a vision board/write down your goals.

47. Open a self-directed investment account.

48. Go to the library!

49. Follow my blog! And read my latest post as I usually post every Monday.

50. Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Don’t make me tell you what that is because I am NOT you. Deep down in your heart you know exactly what you want to be doing right now. And there is no way you can give me an excuse as to why youre not doing it. If you work your a** off it WILL pay off. Maybe not in 1 year or even 5 years, but use your time wisely and fulfillment will come.

Work hard and spread the love! Happy Monday!

Selfcare Tips

I LOVE MONDAYS :) (please read if you don’t agree)

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Yes, you read the title correctly. I LITERALLY love Mondays! And I will tell you why:

When Monday morning rolls around, I wake-up and realize I have another 7 days of the week to kick some serious a**! I am honestly so fired-up about life! Who the heck doesn’t want more time to live the best life they can possibly live!?

As I go through-out my day, I of course check social media. And low and behold I always see a constant stream of hate toward Mondays. What did Monday ever do to you? Does Monday deserve so much hate? I don’t think I’ve gone a week without seeing a meme about Monday being the worst day of the week, or a bunch of talk about how people live for the weekends. Don’t fall for that s***!

Think about every moment you wished for “more time” or the moments you said you’d do that thing “if only there were 25 hours in a day”. Well Monday is your chance to do that thing…and all the damn things! Because you have more than 25 hours… you have 168 hours in the week that just began!

So this week challenge yourself! Instead of starting off the week by sulking, think about 1 thing you wanted to do last week but maybe didn’t. Figure out how many hours/minutes it will take to do that thing, then schedule it in your calendar for this week. Did you do it yet…? Seriously do it now (or at least after you’re done reading this post). Just 1 task, that is all you have to focus on. Lucky you, because you now have the next 168 hours to get that task done!! If you can’t think of a task or you don’t have anything to do, I’ll give you a really simple one: scroll down to the bottom of this page and type your email into a box that says “follow!”. Then click on the “follow” button to stay up-to-date on all my blog posts! Woo! #MondaysRockandSoDoYou

Selfcare Tips

“Invest in Yourself” – Givin’ er a Whirl…

Throw back to my first bujo post.

“Invest in yourself” – that has been and will continue to be a daily reminder.

Do not live your life worried about what others might think about you. Each moment you are concerned about the opinions of others, you lose an opportunity to live for your whole being. Isn’t that bonkers!?? You can literally stop yourself from doing things that make you genuinely happy simply because you are worried about the opinion of Sally (who you barely knew in high school but follows you on Instagram).

When I first heard the phrase “invest in yourself”, it struck a chord in me. I gave the phrase some good thought and realized I did very little “investing in myself”…which was probably why I felt completely burnt-out.

Long story short, I figured I should bite the bullet and give “investing in myself” a whirl.

So I started making time in my life for little things I enjoyed: walking outside, going to church, yoga, drawing, and reading. To be clear regarding the reading, I mean recreationally…NOT something written by Michel Foucault [side note: you’re cool Mr. Foucault but really not my type…someone let me know in the comments if you feel me on this]. After about 2 weeks of making time to invest in myself, I realized it was pretty sweet. It was not easy, and obviously took away my precious time to stress about random sh** to the point where I couldn’t fall sleep at night [insert eyeroll emoji] BUT it was definitely worth keeping-up.

In fact it was so worth it, I thought, “I should draw this phrase in my bullet journal to make it a concrete belief”. You know…so I could really hold my belief with both my hands.

…and I did just that [check-out my photo below]

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After drawing it I thought, “I should really post this to Instagram. I’m sure there are people out there that need to hear this message!” And that’s when I froze…. What will people think when I post this? Maybe they’ll think I’m weird. Maybe they’ll think it sucks. Maybe they’ll unfollow my account! … I could go on and on. So instead of posting it, I chickened out and saved it as a draft.

The next evening I got home from work, opened my Instagram and saw a bunch of photos about #BellLetsTalk. Hmmm…wasn’t I promoting mental health with my message? Duh! So that day gave me an excuse for posting… less people would think I am weird for sure-zies. So I hashtagged #BellLetsTalk, wrote a caption that resonated with me, counted down from 5, probably shouted “OMG OMG OMG!”, and pressed “share”!

Wow…stress city…all over an Instagram post!

Why was it so hard to do something I thought was a good idea? I thought people would think it was silly I was posting pictures of my drawings…like “that’s not what Instagram is for”. Well it turns out, that IS what Instagram is for – and it makes me SO happy when people say they are inspired by my drawings!

Morals of the story:

1. Spread the love and it will always come back to you.

2. If you want to be happy, actually DO the things that make you happy even though that can be hard as f***.

3. Invest in yourself and one day you’ll see it was worth it ✌

Mood and Emotion

Make happy a habit! Even though that can be hard as f***.

For anyone who doesn’t know, I love my bullet journal!! (Check out my Instagram @selfcarelifestyle_ to see my drawings and spreads).

At the end of August, I decided I would incorporate a mood tracker into my bujo monthly spread for September. I never did a mood tracker before that point because I thought I would always forget to actually track my mood!

But… with a big move across the country just around the corner (check out my previous blog post to see photos), I figured it might be fun to see how my mood changed throughout the month.

So I got my creative juices flowing and drew up a mood tracker for the month of September. Check it out below!

Looking at it now, I am glad too see all my happy days. And it does not make me upset to see days where I had sadness, anger, or anxiety. I like using a mood tracker because it challenges me to be happy, and I can reflect on the days I felt negative emotions by asking questions like “What made me feel that way?” and “Could I have reacted differently?”

All that to say, I want to touch on three important things regarding mood:

1) I used to think my sad days were easier to live out than my happy days…and I actually think they still are.

I figured being “down in the dumps” was normal for me so I became content with being sad (a bit of a paradox?). Well, it might be easier being sad than happy BUT I am telling you right now, the best decisions in life are NOT the easiest ones. And when the right decision comes to fruition, there is no better feeling in the world. If things like being happy were easy, then there would be no such thing as jealousy or anger or depression or anxiety. But those negative moods do exist, and I’ll be the first to tell you I feel all of them.

There are more days than not when I actually feel myself working hard to be happy…It’s as if my car engine is working to drive up a hill from Point A (a negative or neutral mood) to Point B (a positive or happy mood). And when I get to Point B and realize how awesome it is there, it motivates me to do the same thing the next time I feel down.

2) Momentum Momentum Momentum!

Like I said in my previous point, getting to the finish line motivates you to run another race. Each day I choose happy, I give myself momentum to do the same the next day. Choosing happy is definitely harder for some people than others, but once you start rolling it actually gets harder to slow down.

On the other hand, I can also say one of the reasons being sad was easy, was because each consecutive day I chose “sad”, I gave myself momentum to keep being sad. If I look at the span of my life and reflect on the days I was sad, I can tell you, in hindsight, they were NOT good days. I was less productive, I had no self-discipline, I was lazy, and I negatively impacted my relationships. So try try try and challenge yourself to make happy a habit!

3) It’s ok to not always be happy!

We are all human right? So having a moment of sad, or angry, or anxious is completely normal. In fact, I think it’s great! Here me out: If I have the ability to to feel one emotion, that means I have the ability to feel all emotions! I think it is fascinating to know I can feel just as, if not more happy one day than I may have been sad the previous day. We, as humans, are lucky as sh** because we have the ability to choose what we want in our lives and feel things we didn’t even know we could feel! So remember if your emotions fluctuate, you are human!! Sometimes it takes a hobby, or a relationship, or a walk alone in nature to clear your mind, but no matter how you choose to go about it, you have the human power to choose “happy”.

So how badly do you want to be happy? If you want to choose happy, it may be hard as f***…but in the end it will be worth it!