Selfcare Tips

That thing you’re probably not doing, but need to start doing ASAP in order to tackle anxiety 👊

I bet 8 in 10 of you reading this post have trouble falling asleep at night.

Anxiety before sleep

And I bet that’s because you can’t quiet your thoughts at night and just relax. Whether you call it stress, anxiety, over-thinking, or constant worry, the feeling you get when you can’t shut off your thoughts is unpleasant and tiresome.

So, am I right? … Are you one of those 8?

Now what if I told you I know the secret to relaxing your mind and improving your sleep? And what if I told you that secret would help reduce your anxiety and increase your productivity?

Well, here it is:

You no longer give-in to life’s daily distractions like social media, partying, mindless television, or unnecessary thoughts about work. And most importantly, you welcome your thoughts when they enter your mind.

“Ella, you seem confused. I thought we were talking about shutting off my thoughts, not welcoming them…?!”

Yes, yes – we are! But here is the key: the trick to NOT thinking during the wrong time is to THINK MORE during the right time 😃

Let me break that down …

The reason you find it difficult to shut off your brain before bed, is because you actually have a lot of shit to think about. And believe it or not, all this shit you want to think about has already attempted to enter your mind throughout your day! HOWEVER THE PROBLEM IS, when thoughts begin to enter your mind during the day you immediately find a million +1 ways to distract yourself; social media, work, what to make for dinner, and why Sally can lift more than you at the gym are just a few things that can easily distract you from your thoughts. So once you get home after work, eat dinner, and crawl into bed, your mind says “HOORAY” because it finally has time to think!

When you distract yourself from your thoughts until the moment you actually need quiet time, your thoughts seize the opportunity and pour out like someone forgot to turn off the faucet.

So instead of giving-in to constant distractions, try giving yourself 15 minutes during the day to actually be alone with your thoughts. Whether it be during your lunch break, walking to your car, sitting on public transit, showering, or working out, I seriously recommend you give your mind the time it wants to think.

And the more you give your mind this time, you’ll notice some thoughts begin to expand and flourish into ideas. You’ll notice other thoughts fade into the “it doesn’t matter” space in your brain. You’ll be able to more easily prioritize your thoughts. You’ll be able to realize why you choose to wear certain clothes, why you associate with certain people, what hobbies you actually enjoy, what your strengths and weakness are… and many more things about how you relate to the world! All that fading, flourishing, and prioritizing is called analytical processing.

And here’s the best part: The better you get at analytical processing, the quicker you’ll be at dumping pointless thoughts, studying critical thoughts, and ultimately controlling what you choose to think about. And if you get all this thinking done during the day, you’ll ultimately get more accomplished, more planned, and more discussed before it’s time to hit the hay.

Work hard, sleep well

The mind is a limitless force – it can create, re-train, calculate, and more.

Imagine how YOU could FLOURISH if you simply allowed your mind to think when it wanted to. Imagine your outcome after you simply allowed yourself to be silent with your own thoughts.

So in conclusion, treat your mind like your friend – give it time, love, and attention. Start welcoming your thoughts during the right time and watch yourself become one of the 2 in 10 people who fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow. Give yourself 14 consecutive days to implement your new routine, then come back to this post to let me know if I was right.

As always, I hope you have a productive week and a very happy Monday ❤✌

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself […] .” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

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*Disclaimer: I am not a medical or mental health professional. Any information and content on my website is not a substitute for professional, medical, or legal advice.

Selfcare Tips

How to Finally Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin (Learn to Be Yourself in 3 Steps)

Be comfortable in your own skin

Socialization has a funny way of eating away your self-confidence.

… Don’t you agree?

Think about it, you were born a happy little baby, but as soon as you were exposed to society – whether that was through school, social media, or recreational activities – the self-judgment began.

“I want those new Jordans because they are the fly-est shoe.”
“I want a thinner waist so I can look hot on the gram.”
“I need bigger lips to make me feel pretty.”
“I need to do squats everyday so my ass can look bomb.”

Stop. You don’t need to punish yourself like that.

You want to feel good about yourself – I get it. Who the hell doesn’t want that? But (and here comes the shocker) did you know you can legitimately feel good about yourself just by owning the body and the personality you were born with??

I know that may sound crazy (especially if you’re under 20), but if you read this post til the end, I’ll teach you 3 things you can start implementing in order to become comfortable in your own skin.

1) Physically remove the nonsense.

Yes I said “physically”. There is no way I’d sit here and tell you to start by mentally ignoring things and people that don’t serve you because that requires a lot of willpower. And let’s not kid ourselves, very few people in the world have that kind of willpower, and they are probably not reading this post.

So if you’re starting from square one like most of us are, please go ahead and start the implementing the following: unfollow, block, mute, unfriend, and delete. Do whatever it physically takes to cut out the things and people breaking-down your self-confidence.

Delete fake friends

With that will come the end of comparisons.

Keep in mind, unless you can magically become another person like some “Freaky Friday” shit, you have approximately 0 reasons to compare yourself to others. You would not compare apples to oranges so why in the hell would you compare your life to the life of another person?!?! The fact is, you don’t know what’s going on inside anyone’s head, anyone’s home, or anyone’s life. So please stop wishing you were people you don’t know anything about.

2) Realize that other people want what you have.

There are literally 7 billion people in this world. The chances that at least one of them wants hair like yours or a personality like yours or a nose like yours etc., is f***ing high! We all want what we don’t have. Well the tough news is, you only have what you have!

I think it is f***ing sick that there is nobody else in the world exactly like you. Even identical twins have differences in personality and behaviour!! BABE, you are LITERALLY 1 in 7 000 000 000 000! That in and of itself is a lovely freaking miracle!

Unique and lovely

Please understand that no matter how hard you try to not be you, your true self will always shine through. Always and forever, you will be lucky enough to be yourself, and that my friends is a beautiful thing.

3) If you want to succeed at anything (…and yes, I said anything) you HAVE TO work at it.

And, believe it or not, that includes being comfortable in your own skin! I know it may seem shocking that you have to practice such a thing. But being comfortable with yourself in a socialized world does not come naturally.

Have you ever realized that adults get embarrassed less often than kids and teenagers? That is because they’ve been being themselves for a longer time!

So the good news is, you’ll get there too. And you can get there quicker if you start to do little things every day that will make you feel confident. Start by doing your hair the way you want, then wearing the clothes you want, then working the job you want … then one day, a few years from now, you’ll wake up and realize you are absolutely full of happiness because you fully embraced the real you!

Decide right now how you are going to practice self-confidence over the next 7 days. Write down the way(s) in your calendar or agenda or on a random scrap of paper, then COMMIT to doing those things. 7 consecutive days is all you need to get the “confidence ball” rolling.

In conclusion, I need you to start being brave enough to feel vulnerable. Confidence can become a habit just like anything else can. It won’t happen overnight, and it will be hard as f***, but I swear the day you realize you love who you are, you’ll realize it was worth it.

As always, Happy Monday ❤✌

Love yourself

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*Disclaimer: I am not a medical or mental health professional. Any information and content on my website is not a substitute for professional, medical, or legal advice.

Self-development

Can Suffering Heal the Soul?

Do things that make you happy … right?

But do you think that should always be the case? I guess it depends how you define “happy”. If you ask me, I prefer to alter the statement altogether to say, “do things that make you happy in the long run“. Or, “do things that are good for your soul.”

Let me explain why:

Think about the last time you lied to yourself. To be clear here, I am talking about “feel-good lies”. You know, the lies that make you feel more successful or more caring or more positive in any sense, than you actually are… Why did you tell that lie? Did it make you happy? Did you recieve that incremental spike in your ego you were hoping for?

I find lying quite interesting. Even the most honest people I know sneak a feel-good lie into conversation every now and again. However, I think the explanation for lying is not as complicated as it seems.

There’s a comfort in lying.

How peachy.

But if you know anything about my blog, you’ll know that comfort is of zero advantage to personal development. If we bypass the comfort in lying and, instead, embrace the suffering, the obstacles in our personal development paths will be minimized. If we learn to swallow the difficult truth, we can actually spend time figuring out why exactly the truth hurts.

The truth might hurt or it might not be as lavish as we’d like. But the truth is never an obstacle.

Think about these would-be lies:

“I can’t lose weight no matter how hard I try. My weight is purely genetic.”

“My Instagram content is amazing but my account isn’t growing because of the algorithm.”

“I am innocent in this argument. I never gossip or talk behind peoples’ backs.”

There’s a pattern there.

It’s called lack of accountability.

To start taking accountability, we need to stop telling ourselves lies and start analyzing occurrences objectively. If you want to lose weight but it seems your attempts aren’t effective, start writing down EVERYTHING you eat and EVERYTIME you are active.

If you want to grow your Instagram account but it seems your daily posts aren’t doing the job, start RESEARCHING social media marketing and get to KNOW the Instagram algorithm.

If you start analyzing your routines objectively, you can determine what parts of your routines need to change. Or, you can determine whether you need a new routine altogether.

Alternatively, if you continuing puffing-up your ego with lies, you’ll remain exactly where you are in life. You won’t grow. You won’t change. You won’t learn.

So ladies and gents, let’s seriously cut the bulls*** and start taking accountability for our decisions.

Let’s start taking the blame for things that are our fault. Let’s start embracing the shitty truth. Let’s start remaining objective in our criticisms.

Lying and excuse-making are easy jobs. Putting in work is hard.

So instead of crafting false tales or exaggerating the truth for short term pleasure, let’s embrace the suffering to achieve happiness in the long run.

And one last thing for today:

Remember this sentence from the beginning of my post? “Even the most honest people I know sneak a feel-good lie into conversation every now and again.

… Who did you think of when you read it?

Remember, there’s always ALWAYS room for personal development.

Have a happy and productive Monday ❤✌

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*Disclaimer: I am not a medical or mental health professional. Any information and content on my website is not a substitute for professional, medical, or legal advice.

Selfcare Tips

YOLO, No Ragrets, and Other Useful Phrases

Alrighty, who’s in for a nice healthy bet? 😉

You in? Ok, I bet you $2.50 the next 3 sentences will make you roll your eyes:

1. Live each day like it’s your last.

2. Don’t worry about what other people think.

3. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

Did you roll ’em? I nearly rolled mine just typing that! How cliché, right? I have probably heard those phrases at least 100 times each in my life!

Clichés are annoying … I guess. But now I’m going to bet you another $2.50 I can change your mind about that by the end of this post.

According the the Oxford Dictionary, a cliché is a “phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought”. Now let’s apply that definition.

The meaning of the 3 aforementioned clichés can be generally summed-up as, “work hard at what makes you happy, every day“. Does that sound meaningful to you? Do you really think that because those phrases are “overused” and “lack original thought”, their meanings are diminished? Here’s what I propose: the reason clichés are used so often is because their meanings are incredibly important but the actions they call for are difficult and therefore rarely implemented.

If you ask your kid (or your boyfriend …) to wash the dishes after he or she uses them, but they still don’t bother, you’ll probably ask them a second time. And if a week goes by without them touching a dish, you’ll probably ask again. Is the question any less meaningful, or do you still just want them to wash the damn dishes?

My guess is the latter.

Now, how many people do you know who want to get out of their job and do something they actually enjoy? How many others do you know who want to have a better romantic relationship but don’t want to risk being single to find one? I know quite a few. And I’ve probably mentioned all 3 of those clichés to them. And if you know anyone who is living life completely on their own terms and doing things that make them happy, you probably wouldn’t go up to them and say, “Hey bro, don’t forget, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take!”

Clichés are repetitive because their messages are important.

So next time someone tells you something you’ve heard a million times, take a second before rolling your eyes. What is the call to action? Have you implemented it in your life? Is it going to be hard but worth doing? Let’s try to make clichés a rarity, and most importantly, let’s live with “no ragrets”. 😉

HEY! 👋 HEY YOU! DON’T FORGET ABOUT OUR BET. If you changed your mind or rolled your eyes, considered paying up 😉 Haha, but actually, if you’d like to make a small donation scroll to the very bottom of this page where you’ll see an option to “make a donation“. Any amount is truly appreciated as it allows me to keep creating free content for you 🙂

As always, Happy Monday 🙂

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Self-development, Self-Discipline

The Ultimate Return on Investment

Stagnation. Stasis. Still.

Are you ok with that?

I’m not.

I like progress. I like the feeling of success. And more importantly, I like the feeling of long-term and well-earned success.

Notice what I said there? “Well-earned“.

Success takes hard work and self-discipline. Want to lose weight? Sure you can drink smoothies for 30 days and lose 15 pounds, but what will you do after the 30 days are up? Drink smoothies for the rest of your life? Probably not… In order to keep the weight off, you have to form and stay disciplined to healthy habits as well as understand the concept of delayed gratification.

Earn your weight loss. Earn it through realistic food intake, realistic workout regimens, and a realistic time frame. If you follow that recipe for earned success, not only will you lose the weight, but you’ll have a higher chance of keeping it off.

If you learn to not expect an immediate return on investment, you’ll stop seeing short term failures as huge obstacles – you’ll start to accept failure as part of the journey. You’ll learn from failure more quickly, you’ll move forward even when you think you should quit.

I want you to keep going.

I want us all to keep going. I want us to fall down the mountain over and over again until we learn the quickest and most efficient way to climb to the top. And once we climb it, let’s not climb back down, but build a house on top. Maybe a civilization on top. Because what good is the climb of you can’t stay on top for a while? Let’s do things that are hard knowing they will lead to inevitable success. And more importantly, let’s earn it.

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Selfcare Tips

Are You Ready to Reach Your Goals in 2019? (Part 2 of 3)

Faster. Tougher. Stronger.

Better.

We want that, don’t we? It certainly sounds good. But it also sounds daunting.

Why?

Because all these things, all these improvements, come at a cost: hard work.

If you read my blog post from last week, you hopefully started doing things that make you happy. You started taking care of yourself so you can take the second step toward achieving your goals.

Step 2- Self-Development.

Now that you are confident you can achieve your goals, you have to start taking the steps that will lead you there even though that will be hard. Sometimes that means achieving little wins, and other times that means taking 1 step backward so you can take 2 steps forward.

Let’s continue my anecdote from last week:

I took a break from life so I could learn to love my life.

Then … back to work, back to school, back to sports, and back to volunteering – 4 things I was dreading but knew I had to do. I started small, and then step-by-step I found a rhythm. Once that rhythm became easy to maintain, I knew I needed to challenge myself again — I needed to develop myself further.

I started doing things I wasn’t doing before, knowing that I could not grow until I planted some seeds. I am now trying to give my seeds the proper amounts of water and sunlight so they can successfully sprout.

I know I will eventually find another rhythm easy for me to maintain; my seeds will begin to sprout and I’ll be ready to challenge myself again.

Now it’s your turn to develop yourself. Decide to plant a seed. Maybe its public speaking, getting fit, or learning how to cook. No matter what type of seed you plant, just plant it and start watering. You won’t grow a flower in a day, but little-by-little, step-by-step, you will start to sprout. And if you keep at it long enough, you will grow more than a flower, you will grow an entire garden.

You will be ready for step 3, self-discipline. [Stay tuned for next week’s blog where I talk about self-discipline!]

As always, Happy Monday … and Happy New Year!!

PS: Do you want to learn how to stick to your new year’s resolution and stay accountable to your goals? Well consider joining my FREE 10 Day Personal Development program!

With the program you’ll get:

– Three 1:1 coaching sessions with me

– A habit tracker

– Access to my private Facebook community

– Motivation

– The self confidence you’re looking for to make 2019 the year of you!

So if you’re seriously ready to jumpstart the new year, email me at ellasssofia@gmail.com to let me know you’re in! I’ll be in touch asap with all the info!

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Selfcare Tips

Bonus: My Top 8 Books for Self-care

Bonus blog!

If you read my most recent blog post, you know I did a lot of reading during 2018. Most of the books I read were all about being introspective, attempting to understanding the universe we live in, and ultimately how to be happy and fulfilled in life.

So I decided to compile my top 8 books for self-care. If you read any of them, please let me know what you think in the comment section below 🙂

Please note that some of the links are affiliate links which means I will make a small commission off each purchase. Any commission I receive helps me to continue creating free content.

1. The Book of Afformations: Discovering the Missing Piece to Abundance, Health, Wealth, Love and Happiness by Noah St. John
Why I love it: This book changed the way I think about creating success habits. Unlike anything I’ve ever read, this book presents easy questions which automatically result in authentic answers to improve life and well-being!

To purchase: https://amzn.to/2BIg4iM

2. 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Dr. Jordan B. Peterson
Why I love it: This book is written in such a way that is is IMpossible to NOT realize where you need to improve your life. Learn why creating meaning in life is more important than anything else, and how meaning acn lead to happiness and fulfillment.

To purchase: https://amzn.to/2BI06p1

3. You are the Answer by Michael J. Tamura
Why I love it: This book allowed me to connect with myself on a spiritual level. After reading this, I realized exactly what the title suggests: I am the answer to my difficulties in life, and only I can create the path toward the solutions.

To purchase: https://amzn.to/2SnZNXn

4. Resilience: Navigating Life, Loss, and the Road to Success by Lisa Lisson
Why I love it: Wow. Just wow. Reading Lisa Lisson’s account of hardship as well as personal success made me incredibly grateful for my life; I realized I must stop taking things (and time) for granted as I pursue my life goals.

To purchase: https://amzn.to/2BIgGFi

5. The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything by Neil Pasricha
Why I love it: I realized success does not equal happiness. You must find harmony in what you say, think, and do.

To purchase: https://amzn.to/2Vb6z4A

6. Seven Thousand Ways to Listen: Staying Close to What is Sacred by Mark Nepo
Why I love it: Introspective and Poetic. This book allowed me to find hope in the world and hope in my life.

To purchase: https://amzn.to/2CAq0MP

7. Top Brain Bottom Brain: Harnessing the Power of the Four Cognitive Modes by Dr. Stephen M. Kosslyn and G. Wayne Miller
Why I love it: This book provided me with a new understanding of how the brain works. Forget the limiting idea of left brain versus right brain, and instead open yourself up to multiple functions of your top brain and bottom brain!

To purchase: https://amzn.to/2LCy1np

8. Ten Messages Your Angel’s Want You to Know by Doreen Virtue
Why I love it: This book provided me with the realization I am not alone, as well as the courage to take my first step toward self-development.

To purchase: https://amzn.to/2VeMuKA

Check-out my entire book list on Goodreads @ ellasssofia 🙂

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Selfcare Tips

The Key to Getting Started

What is your mid-afternoon goal?

I bet you’ve never been asked that before.

Let’s break that question down. I’m being serious. Because this is the key to self-development.

One small goal per day. Something you can easily achieve by mid-afternoon. That is all you need to get started.

Forget about the 2 year plan, the 6 month plan, and the 30 day challenge. If you’re having trouble finding momentum, then all you need to do is set one little mid-afternoon goal.

“But why Ella?”

Because it is a million times easier to lose 0.5 lbs than it is to lose 30 lbs. And it is no sweat to save 75 cents as opposed to 300 dollars.

All you have to do is create one, easy-to-accomplish goal, and complete it daily. Write it down, set a reminder in your phone, or just remember it really well. I don’t care how you get there, just get there.

If you can be pragmatically optimistic about your goals, you will (believe it or not) have a hard time failing in life.

When you give yourself a realistic amount of time to accomplish goals, your achievements will literally multiply. As a result, endorphins will pump to your brain DAILY, you will feel INCREASINGLY confident about your actions, and the momentum you create will make reaching your next goal EASIER.

Before you know it, that 1 lbs a week will turn into 12-14 lbs in 3 months. And that 75 cents a day will turn into $ 273.75 dollars in 1 year.

Congratulations my friends – you are now on your way to success.

…Still need help getting started? Well let’s work together! This January I’d like to run a FREE 10 day coaching program to help you create the ultimate success habits so you can reach your goals. If you are SERIOUSLY interested in participating in this FREE program shoot me an email at ellasssofia@gmail.com telling me you’re in, then I’ll send you over the details to get started!

So let’s face the day, kick some a**, and reach our mid-afternoon goals!

And as always, Happy Monday!

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New Beginnings, Selfcare Tips

6 Ways to Reclaim Your Identity

Lost.

… Does that resonate with you?

I’ll let you in on a secret: it resonates with me. Because that is how I felt, day after day, for a very long time.

Until recently.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have bad days (which is actually great because that means I am human). But along my way I’ve learned 6 helpful tips that helped me reclaim my identity. And now I’d like to share them with you:

1. Your purpose changes as you change.

You do different things every day, right? Maybe you enjoy knitting, but after a few months you decide to find a new hobby. Maybe you went to school to be an engineer but changed programs and graduated as a physicist. So if our lives change on a micro scale so often, don’t you also think they can change on a macro scale?

2. You are limitless.

As a human being, there are a million and one things you have a chance at being good at. And if you don’t succeed at one thing, you can most definitely succeed at something else. Here is an example from my life: I always wanted to play soccer professionally and go to university for math and law. But, when I was 14 I had a brain injury. After that, playing soccer and solving math equations didn’t happen as quickly as they used to. This crushed me, and to be honest it still crushes me some days. But the fact of the matter is, my circumstances changed and I changed with them. Now, I understand that I am not a soccer player, but I am a woman who plays soccer, writes, speaks, and does a sh** ton of other things. What do you do?

3. You have an opportunity to be good at something that does not yet exist.

There are jobs that exist now that didn’t exist 5 years ago or 20 years ago. People invent shit all the time so maybe you’re dream job is on it’s way. Or maybe what you’re good at doesn’t exist in your world yet. Don’t forget that opportunities exist in the present as well as the future. Here’s another example, I signed up for Irish Dancing classes today. I am not Irish, and I don’t dance. But I am obsessed with Michael Flatley and wanted to try it out! Who knows, maybe I will surprise myself and be great!

4. You are not meant to be a single-use organism.

You were born to live. Not just sit on your couch and do nothing. As an intelligent being, you have the ability to do and experience multitudes of things! Don’t just “be”, “do”! Do anything. This is life – it is supposed to be meaningful. And furthermore, this life belongs to you! It is your heart and your soul that need to nourished, so nourish them with something that gives you meaning. You are supposed to be trying and failing and winning and losing. That is what makes the world go round!

5. You are required to know yourself on a deeper level.

If you feel like you lost yourself, maybe you are being tested. Maybe what you think is a horrible circumstance is actually something that will help you find fulfillment.

I listened to a talk by Jordan Peterson the other day where he briefly discussed forest fires. He mentioned that small fires are good because they get rid of dry kindling sitting on the forest floor. “A little bit of fire at the right time can stop everything from burning down,” he said. He went on to compare this statement to life. They say things always get worse before they get better, and I will say with experience that is 100% true.

6. You are limitless.

You are limitless in your potential. A friend once told me that when he was younger, he said to an older colleague, “I wish there was 1 book with all the information a person could ever know.” The colleague responded by saying, “There is. It’s called the internet.” Was he ever right! Depending on where you live, you can go to the library, get a free card, and use their internet for free! Imagine all the things you could learn for free if you did this for a few hours each week. We live in an era of globalization and technology, so take advantage of that!

Unfortunately we can’t all be professional soccer players or engineers or lawyers, but we can f***ing try. So go out into the world, learn new sh**, find out what your good at and stick with it.

The next time you feel lost, remember that you are not actually lost but rather moving toward the answer. You know where you’re going. And I want to help you get there.

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New Beginnings, Selfcare Tips

How to Release Meaningless and Underlying Anger


Are you angry?

Here’s a better question: Are you happy, until without warning, a small occurrence causes you to become bitter and lash-out for what seems like no reason? Maybe this reaction has a negative effect on the people around you. Or worse, maybe this reaction has a negative effect on the way you view yourself.

Why do you think these reactions happen?

It is likely because “something” is bothering you, and it will continue to bother you until you find out concisely what the cause is.

So how do we address this “something”?

Well below is an exercise that helps me do just that. To complete it yourself just click the hyperlink (a new tab will open with a printable PDF of my exercise). Or simply grab a pen and paper to copy what is written on my PDF. I’ll wait here until you are ready. (note: you can not do this exercise on your phone or on your computer).

Ok, you ready?

Now write down the following commitment at the top of the page.

My Committment: “Today I am going to release the meaningless anger I am holding on to.  I am going to write down every situation that is currently making me angry, regardless of whether I have control over the situation. I recognize this anger does not serve me. Today I leave my anger on this paper because I do not deserve to be weighed down by it. My relationships do not deserve to be affected by my anger. I am going to release myself from my anger today.”

Don’t over think what comes next. Just write down the angering situations that come to your mind. Remember, we are writing down angering situations that do not serve us. These are situations that you have zero control over or situations where you are enacting some type of control but you cannot do anything more to change the outcome. 

Now here’s the best part: reflect on each item to determine
(1) whether you can take action,
(2) whether there is a deeper / root cause to your anger, and
(3) whether you have any type of control over the situation.
These instructions are in my PDF.

Now that everything is written down, reflect on your action items. Are they going to change the outcome of the situation? If so, take them. If not, forget about them; sometimes there is nothing you can do. Now focus on any deeper meaning causing your anger. If a deeper meaning exists, think about how you can address it.

Give all of this some good thought. We are trying to dig deep inside ourselves here.

If necessary, discuss what you’ve written with somebody who is being affected by your anger.

Once all is said and done, pick up the piece of paper, look at it, hold it tightly, and recognize that you just transferred all your meaningless negative anger onto the paper. 

Now, rip the paper in half. Pause.

Then rip it again, and again, and again until you can’t rip it anymore. Pause. Then take those pieces of paper and throw them in the garbage where they belong.

Leave it there. Leave your paper and leave your anger. They are gone. And you should feel lighter.

 Maybe you just realized you aren’t angry, but fearful (as I did). Maybe you fixed a troubled relationship. Maybe that relationship was with yourself.

Keep in mind you might have to complete this exercise more than once. The moment you complete it with all your soul is the moment you will feel so much relief.

I hope this helps.

As always, Happy Monday 🙂

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