Heart ache. Disgust. Envy. … Are those familiar to you?
Passion. Hope. Joy. … Do you recognize them?
They are emotions – both varied and yet commonly felt among us. Some of us feel emotions neutrally, while others feel certain emotions more often. And some of us feel emotions so intensely that we begin to question our own sanity. … I fall into the latter category. Let’s call it the “extra sensitive” or “overly emotional” category.
For most of my life I felt that belonging to this “overly emotional” category made me weird or crazy. I tried to suppress my weirdness and craziness so I never talked about how I truly felt. The more I grew up, the more intensely I felt negative emotions and as a result, my positive emotions appeared much less. Somewhere between ages 8 and 10, I started to regard myself as an extra sad human being; I concluded I was more sad more often than any other person I knew. I figured being overly emotional was a disadvantage in my life, which ultimately led me to believe I was better off not being alive.
So what changed, you ask?
My perspective – After years of believing the same thing, I decided to assess myself from a different angle. I figured there must be at least 1 up-side to being overly emotional, so finally at age 24 I sought to find it.
I imagined emotions as little hollow spheres, where 1 sphere = 1 potential to experience emotion. Let’s say the average person has 20 emotion spheres. When someone has an experience in life, I pictured the spheres fill-up with a certain coloured liquid, where each colour = a different emotion. So if something makes you angry, your spheres fill up with the colour red. Or if something makes you happy, your spheres fill up with the colour yellow.
Get it so far?
Then I figured, when God was creating me before my birth, he tripped and accidentally dropped a whole load of emotion spheres into my body. So instead of the normal 20 spheres, I have like 70.
Let’s roll with that.
I figured that unlike other people I knew, I had the ability to feel f***ing everything. And because of that, I eventually realized I have a huge advantage over other people:
I can empathize and support people when nobody else knows they are hurting.
I can commit to being there for my friends both spiritually and emotionally.
I have a pretty good intuition that I now know to follow.
I can offer advice or say things that make people feel better about themselves.
And with that, I learned that all my actions have consequences.
It is February 17, 2019 as I write this and I finally realize I am not an extra sad person. Because when I am happy, I am happy as sh**, and when I am motivated, I am motivated as hell. Maybe I’m just a really intense person. Maybe I just have a lot more “feeling spheres” in my body … . All I know for sure, is that being overly emotional is not a bad thing. I just have to work harder than most at not letting the sadness win.
If you use your emotions to your advantage, you’ll begin to regard them as strengths rather than weaknesses. You can use these strengths to do things in life that other people cannot do or even require training to do well.
You don’t have to be an extra sad person, but you will have to work extra hard to not let the sadness win.
For all of us who feel “overly emotional” or “extra sensitive”, I think we are lucky. I think we have an advantage. I learned to be happy and love my life, and I KNOW you can believe that about your life too. If you think you’re overly emotional or extra sensitive, please know you can live an amazing life, and please know you are not alone.
As always, Happy Monday,
From the girl who thought she was alone ✌
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*Disclaimer: I am not a medical or mental health professional. Any information and content on my website is not a substitute for professional, medical, or legal advice.